Posted by Howe Q. Wallace on Monday, May 18th, 2015
A recent sermon by Andy Stanley dealt with “judging” others.
The basic advice was that we shouldn’t judge unless we undergo regular, critical self-evaluation focused on removing our own liabilities. That critical self-assessment puts us in a better spot to offer help to others who may need it.
Stanley says there are three “judgmental” issues. One are those who judge others and readily dismiss them. He calls people who readily dismiss others with quick judgment as “self-righteous”.
The second type views others in a less critical eye, has empathy for the shortcomings they see and resist any opportunity to address the issue for fear of coming across as judgmental. He calls them “non-confrontational”.
The last type has been confronted with areas that need change and disregard it, because those providing feedback are discounted as judgmental. He calls them “non-listeners”.
I thought it was an interesting discussion. It describes what a messy process constructive criticism, courageous communication and personal change can be.
It reminded me of the care that goes into courageous communication. You take time to assess situations from many angles before determining what you think is occurring and acting upon it. You work hard to be authentic, realistic and candid about your experience in terms of shortcomings and failings. You also work hard to have a record of attempts at addressing your own issues before suggesting the same for others.
Confrontation and criticism is a touchy issue. Successful teams, families and enterprises have a record of building it into to their everyday lives.