What began as a study on strong marriages has become a lesson on strong relationships at work. A study by Dr. John Gottman at the University of Washington says that people who maintain strong performance at work avoid four relationship killers with their colleagues. Here are the four: Criticism. Some think of criticism as negative feedback. Not so. Negative feedback that instructs builds or improves is courageous. Criticism that just blames or damns is destructive.

Lee Ellis is a leadership consultant who recently put a graphic on the Internet. It was a picture of an “old time” scale and balance, the traditional image of the scales of justice. On one side of the scale was the word “Relationships” and on the other “Results”. Under “Results”, it says Leaders must achieve results to remain in business. In the middle, there’s a “but”. On the other side, under “Relationships”, it says leaders